We All Need A Little Help Sometimes

A friend of mine fell over years ago and broke her thumb, she fell over a loose kerb stone that had been earmarked by the council for replacement. Her thumb never quite healed correctly and she still suffers now. Sadly my friends story is not unusual many people find themselves injured in accidents that they weren't responsible for, and lots will suffer the side effects of these injuries silently bearing the cost of lost work days and medical costs themselves. But this hardly seems fair.

If my friend had known about companies like Leo Claims who specialise in dealing with personal injury claims, like arm injury claims, back injury claims, whiplash claims and many more. Then she may have been able to claim something to ease financial worries

Claiming compensation for her injury won't make my injury any better but it means she can seek help to start her recovery journey through private practitioners, or ease the financial burden of time away from work. And in the case of my friend, our council knew the kerb had already caused injury to others but had left it unaltered for weeks! Thankfully her accident wasn't a lot worse, imagine if it had been an elderly person and they'd suffered worse breakages.

I hope that my friend and others like her get the help they need to start a better recovery.

 

 

 

 

Collaborative Post

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thankful Thursday 30 October

Thanks for all your lovely posts last week, this week we are mostly enjoying school holidays and family time please keep spreading the word so we can grow grow grow the linky. I can't wait to catch up with you all again this week, if you are just new here then the info below might help.

Thankful Thursday is my weekly linky for us all to share our silver linings, brags, boasts or just something that made us smile. Be it a picture, a word, a sentence or a great big essay lets share what we are thankful for this week. It can be a new post just for this linky, a picture, a video, one word or a thousand this linky is all about thankfulness so whatever has made you grateful this week I would love to know.

If you would like to link up I would love for you to grab the badge below and spread a little linky love to some of the others taking part, and don't forget to spread the word, invite lots of people and help me grow this and make Thursdays a happier place.

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My Three Kids Bring Me Plenty Joy THANKS Professor Mikko Myrskylä PLENTY

I'm so cross I'm finding it hard to formulate a sentence! And please forgive me but there may be lots of these !!!!!!!!!!

I just read a most remarkable (remarkably rubbish,more like) piece of research which states that a third child brings parents 'no extra joy'! You can read it for yourself here

So in response I would like to say ....

Dear Professor Mikko Myrskylä, my third child arrived in August 2013 and she brought with her so much joy to me, my husband our other children and to our family and friends! Sure I get your point 3 kids brings a certain set of worries like, finance (seriously 3 sets of university fees?!!!). Time and emotional demands ( will one of them get left out will I be able to give them all enough?). But to suggest that parenthood becomes 'less novel' is frankly just a bit insulting, I don't know anyone who consider parenting as a novelty.

And please don't be mistaken the worry with your third is just a little different to the worry that comes with having your fist child or your second. Having a third provides no less joy and whilst I may not be a doctor and my research is probably a lot less scientific than yours, I know lots of 3rd time mums and we are mostly in agreement... Three is a walk in the park, you have more confidence as a parent so your child is more content and calm. You are busier than you could possibly imagine it that in turn has made you more efficient than ever. I mean seriously if my former work colleagues thought I was organised before children they'd be running scared now! And the love, the joy of seeing 3 beautiful happy children hugging giggling and being crazy together, the happiness is incomparable. Children are a blessing a privilege and a JOY and no matter how many you have they each fill your heart with a little more joy.

 

You don't need to believe me have a look around social media because you've caused quite a storm and everyone seems to feel the same as I, that your findings are a bit bonkers!

While I was writing this, rather crossly bashing on my keyboard a message popped up from my lovely friend Kate and guess what, she was writing a response to your findings too feel free to have a spy of what she thinks

 

 

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Finding My Green Goddess

I remember scoffing (silently to myself ) at people when I was younger, for doing things to save money and energy and be kinder to the environment. Imagine shopping in second hand stores and buying in bulk and batch cooking! Pah! not for my 'fly by the seat of her pants' younger self!

 

Fast forward twenty years and you will find I have embraced my inner hippy and fully discovered my breast feeding, homebirthing, pre loved buying, cloth nappy using, vegetable growing green goddess-ness! 

 I think it's easy to have a disposable lifestyle in a world of cheap clothes and technology and well everything really. But it's important to think about the bigger cost of things, how will our world survive if we keep filling land fill and increasing our carbon footprint?

 

So I'm Always happy to share some of the things we do to help the environment and save money and energy.

 

I breast feed because it's free and I don't use any power to boil water or sterilise equiptment because I don't need any.

 

I also use cloth nappies because it saves money, and it's better for the environment. We all know that disposables stay in landfill for decades, whereas my gorgeous nappy's (we use the absolutely brilliant Tots Bots) wash and air dry and go back in the drawer or on termites bottom so no landfill here and I'm saving over £1000 during Termites nappy using time.

 

We batch cook so that we always have. a stock of ready to go nutritious meals and it also means energy saved by not having the cooker on lots through the week

 

And something we've really got the kids on board with is saving water, my three either take a shower or have a bath all together, we reuse last nights drinking water to water the plants and we switch off the tap when brushing our teeth.

 

The lovely green guys at Mark Group have designed this really cool info graphic with some extra ideas as well.

So how green are you? Is it important to you to be kind to your environment? What sorts of things do you do to be more 'green' I'd love to hear.

 

***This is a collaborative post ***

 

 

 

 

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Nib Nibs Review and Giveaway

We love snack time in Monkeyfeet HQ but I must admit I sometimes struggle to think of something new and exciting everyday. I worry my poor kids might get sick of the sight of cheese,apple and raisins! So we jumped at the chance of reviewing Nib Nibs,a new baked in Britain snack.

What They Say
We are passionate about nibbling and love creating moreish quality snacks that are full of the very best of everything. We personally source our ingredients and always ensure they are the finest quality and wherever possible most definitely British.

We also produce all of our snacks at our bakery in North Yorkshire. We are reassuringly local and a true artisan producer.

What We Say

We received Roasted Salt and Pepper Jumbo Peanuts, Exceptional Cheddar Cheese Straws, exceptional Cheddar Cheese and Cheeky Onion Straws and Exeptional Cheddar and Spicy Chilli Straws.

 

Never shy of trying new stuff my lot were straight into them, and I was honestly lucky to even sniff the carton! I like that the packaging has a top that easily pops back on saving the snacks from going stale, although I'm really kidding myself by thinking we would ever use this in our house, seriously once those little pots were open my kids were like a plague of locusts! Termite especially was a huge fan of the Mini Cheese and Onion Straws and the big two loved the Cheddar Cheese.

 

 

They are like weeny bread sticks but with less air (if you follow me) so the are more dense have more substance. The flavours are lovely the chilli ones especially have quite a kick, or 'afterburn' as we have now termed it! The Exceptional Cheddar flavour is in fact exceptional and a pure cheesefest, totally yummy. Really tasty with home made salsa or barbecue dip as well.

 

Priced around £1.79 they are in the middle of the of snacking price range for us but I do like the idea of buyingproducts made in Britian and they are made by 'artisan bakers' so are a bit of a posh treat! We would have liked to see more nuts in the packet but felt there was a good amount of everything else and plenty to share around so they'll be on our shopping list from now on. I can't wait to see what other flavours they launch and I'm hoping there'll be some Christmas style ones, am I the only one who loves all the flavours of Christmas? I mean how lovely would a Sage and Onion Flavour be?

 

You can visit the Nib Nibs website here, and connect with them on Facebook and Twitter and if you'd like to be in with a chance of winning some Nib Nibs goodies be sure to fill out the Rafflecopter below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

 

 

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#Mummymakeover Week 4

19-26 October 

I've gained a pound! I have to say this comes as no surprise given the awful week I've had.

I'm quite relieved it's only 1lb as I've ate total rubbish. 

I wish I had words of positivity and plans to share with you all but I don't. I'm

struggling to balance everything and fit in exercise. But I've made a meal plan and we have the week off so I'm hoping to get plenty of outdoor time next week.

Well I genuinely have nothing more to say I'm feeling rather despondent! 

Tales of the Termite - 14 months

Mummy keeps telling me that this year is a year full of discovery and I think she's right, I've learned lots and lots and I tell you what it gets me tonnes of applause and cheers. I can sign "fish" which I do when I go see nermi (he's my friend in the corner) . I can say baby when I play with Peanut's Dolly's and I can walk really fast and I do Aaaaallllllllll day long! Wherever I am, I like to walk from one end of the room to the other over and over again

I also have a lovely friend Jimmy, we've been friends for a while (well our mummy's have) but just recently I have started to recognise his name and I even know his mummy's van! I say hello to it when we pass on the way to school. I get so excited when I see him and we always play together on the slide at play group. I can even go on the slide without help.

I only wake up once most nights so mummy is getting more sleep but I've been growing a big back tooth so some nights I just like some extra cuddles.

 

I've spent lots of time playing with Happy Land and Our Dolls Pram this month, and I love to draw (mummy calls it Mark Making, she thinks I'm very advanced)

 

 

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#Mummymakeover Week 3

13-18 October

I can't even believe I'm writing this ... I've messed up 2 weeks of good work with a week of RUBBISH. I've ate pan au chocolat, jelly's, croissants, takeaway and even toast with chocolate spread!

Honestly I couldn't even tell you why! I hate the week leading up to that time of the month because my brain tells me I NEED to eat carbs and sugar and fat! I know that I don't and it does me no good, infact I feel sluggish and lardy and bloated so I just feel worse than ever!

I'm such a comfort eater I wish I wasn't but I really feel like I have no control sometimes! Next week NEEDS TO BE BETTER ! I must go running and I must cycle at least once 

I have managed a lovely cycle along the coast though which cleared out the cobwebs! So let's hope for a better week next week and a positive weigh in ... 

First World Gratitude

When I found out I was expecting my little peanut I was standing in a guest house in South Africa. The night before I took that test there had been a power outage, perfectly normal and infact the first of around 10 that I encountered in the 2 weeks I was there. But scary would be an understatement, imagine standing alone in the large open grounds of aguest  house, which is in the middle of pretty much nowhere and the lights go out. The darkness was all encompassing I mean not even enough visibility to see your own hand in front of your face, the worry that those animal movement noises you can hear, well they could be anything! 

So this week whilst I have had to spend days without water and electricity my mind wandered back to those days in South Africa and I have been counting my blessings that my power cut was planned, I got a polite letter of explanations with plenty of advance notice that my power would be off between certain times. When the water went off unexpectedly, I was asked if I needed any emergency assistance because I have children at home. Obviously my answer was no, theres a tesco a minute away I'm sure I can stretch to bottled water! But what about those countries where water and electricity isn't avaiable? Where darkness and dirty water are just how life looks? We may complain about the inconvenience of these things but seriously we are blessed beyond belief, and this in turn has led me to start a very huge and scary and exciting batch of research. Research into how we can physically help people who need it, and go somewhere as a family and work to improve the lives of others and show our children how to make a difference to the world. But that my friends is a post all on its own.....

Thankful Thursday - 23 October 2014

This week I've  been counting my very very first world blessings, you can read all about it in my linked post below. Thanks for all your lovely posts last week and please keep spreading the word so we can grow grow grow the linky. I can't wait to catch up with you all again this week, if you are just new here then the info below might help.

Thankful Thursday is my weekly linky for us all to share our silver linings, brags, boasts or just something that made us smile. Be it a picture, a word, a sentence or a great big essay lets share what we are thankful for this week. It can be a new post just for this linky, a picture, a video, one word or a thousand this linky is all about thankfulness so whatever has made you grateful this week I would love to know.

If you would like to link up I would love for you to grab the badge below and spread a little linky love to some of the others taking part, and don't forget to spread the word, invite lots of people and help me grow this and make Thursdays a happier place.

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Monkeyfooted Mummy's Travel Tips

It's no secret we are big holiday lovers here at Monkeyfeet HQ and we often get asked for travel advice and tips from our friends. I love talking about holidays, bookings them, planning them talking about good things to pack and tips for an easier flight, so when the lovely folks at Purple Parking asked if I would share some of my tips with them I was more than happy to oblige.

So here goes, one of the big things to remember is you can not prepare TOO MUCH! The more you plan and prepare before a holiday the smother everything goes for you. Starting at the very beginning then...

Ask for recommendation's
Talk to friends, look around the Internet for information and read up on your possible destinations

Be Specific
We like to book through a travel agent as I prefer the personal service, Ive also been a travel agent so I know some tricks of the trade. If you are booking with an agent don't be afraid to be specific about your needs. The more information you give the easier it is to find the right holiday. so think about your destination, where you will consider flying from, do you want to be tucked in a nice little village or a bustling town, how important are the kids facilities, what about air con and wifi? These are all key selectors in finding whats best for YOU

Plan Your Packing
Think about what you need, what you want and whether it will all fit in your case! Make sure you have some luggage scales so you don't get hit with over limit charges.

I like to make a  list (don't give me that look, I did say you can't plan TOO MUCH EVER!) of what I need to pack I also tuck this in with our passports that way if any luggage goes missing I know exactly what was in it. Also, and this is such a simple one, put your name house number and postcode on a piece of paper inside your suitcase. If it goes missing and tags come off you will still be reunited

Plan Your journey

We hate spending unnecessary time meandering at the airport so we always book Parking and Lounges

The meet and greet service at our airport has always been truly fab, such a time saver and with three young children it really takes the stress out of finding a space transporting luggage and getting on and off shuttle buses. 

We've never really considered using the lounge until I booked it by mistake once ( please don't ever tell my husband I admitted fault!) and it has changed the way we travel. Its a nice quiet space where everyone can relax and have a drink and a snack, and wait for departure. Plus a real bonus for any parents of young children...containment. Peace and tranquility in an enclosed space so no one one can leg it across duty free trailing a trunki induced path of devastation in their wake ( I have seen it happen, the poor Dior lady was devastated!)

Plan For The Flight

We have a tried and tested list of things to pack in hand luggage, Clothes (for the kids and parents!), Calpol, Snacks, Drinks, Karvol (miracle ear popping cure), stickers, crayons, notebook, reading book innotabs loaded with movies, magazines blanket and cushion. This list has served us perfectly  for about 30 flights.

Last but not least I NEVER EVER travel without a bath mat and tea making supplies! Hotel baths can be terribly slippy and a cheap bath mat just ensures little people are that bit safer, and the tea, well I'm a very British tea drinker I was devastated ( slight over dramatisation and a very first world issue I know) to discover our last hotel didn't provide in-room tea facilities and I hadn't packed any!

Whats on your top tips list for holiday prep?

A Big Soppy Thankful Post

I'm going to give up my Thankful Thursday post this week to Romance! You see ten years ago my wonderful man proposed to me...

Me showing off my new bling!

So I'm thankful for my man, he is supportive and kind and loving and funny, and I'm thankful for good old fashioned romance, for him choosing sunset on the shore of the Red Sea,  for him asking my dad first and for him getting down on one knee (when there was no one around because he knew I'd hate a public fuss) and  for him using my full Sunday title! 

Thankyou my man you are amazing 

The Mumsnet Book of Animal Stories

 

Recently we were lucky enough to be sent a copy of The Mumsnet Book Of Animal Stories

 

 

As you can see by the crinkled state of our dust cover it is now (after just 4 days!). Firmly established as a family favourite!

 

What They Say

Aimed at children aged seven and under, the book features10 original stories contributed by Mumsnetters, each beautifully illustrated by an up-and-coming artist. It's perfect for reading aloud at bedtime, and can be enjoyed again and again.

How did the book come about?

Back in February, Mumsnet and Walker Books launched a competition asking the Mumsnet and Gransnet communities to submit children's stories starring animals. We received a tremendous 635 entries and, after much deliberation, shortlisted 20, which were passed on to an expert judging panel chaired by former Children's Laureate Anthony Brown. 10 winning authors were then selected to make up the anthology, which features a hedgehog who won't sleep, a hamster with dreams of becoming an astronaut, and a bat who's scared of the dark.

Justine Roberts, Mumsnet CEO, says: "We were very impressed by the professional quality of the stories submitted by Mumsnet and Gransnet users. The 10 winners are fun, imaginative and a joy to read. I hope The Mumsnet Book of Animal Stories will be a collection that parents and grandparents enjoy reading with their children for years to come."

And one of the winning authors, Susannah O'Brien says: "I have been immersed in books my entire life and to have my own work published is wonderful! Still better, it is in the form of a story that I can read to my son at bedtime. I can't wait to tell him all about Arthur, Teddy and the hamster who went into space."

The 10 winning stories (in author alphabetical order) are:

• Little Miss Wolfy Good by Jenny Louise Davis
• The Great Meerkat Escape by Nina Hoole
• A Pile of Panda by Julie Innes
• Up In the Trees is Not For Me! by Lindsay Littleson
• The Tale of the Winged Lion by Eilidh Mackay
• Captain Yuri and the Space Mission by Susannah O'Brien
• The Elephant Carnival by Kate Peridot
• Atuki and Serai by Jo Tiddy
• The Hedgehog Who Wouldn't Sleep by Alison Webb
• Basil the Brave by Alice Westlake

What We Say

Described in the blurb ( my daughter loves to call the writing on rear of a book 'The Blurb' she thinks it's ever so grown up) as 'A beautifully illustrated treasury of captivating animal stories for families to share together'. This description is spot on, the illustrations are lovely with lots of different artistic styles, and the stories are varied and interesting, each one is around a 5-10 minute read so perfect for bed time stories.

Our favourite has been 'Captain Yuri and the Space Mission' told from the perspective of Hamish the Hamster this story really captivated my son, I shan't spoil it as it's a fun read, but we are hoping there's a follow up story with Hamish's adventures!

We think this book would make an ideal gift for a child of any age and if you would like to buy one you can purchase here

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Dream House

Would our children like to draw a Dream House? Well my big two love nothing more than crafting so when we were asked to take part in this challenge in collaboration with Principality Building Society. They were very excited when our craft pack arrived, filled with pens, glitter (Mummy's least favourite crafting accessory) glue, paper and pom poms! Deciding that they didn't need any mummy help I was instructed to leave them to it....

There was a lot of discussion, sticking and colouring so I was looking forward to their picture. I left them in the dining room for 20 minutes and then popped back to find the paper had been discarded as not good enough and together they had built this house instead!!!

 

Knowing I would never describe this as brilliantly as they did, I shall quote them directly for a description 

'so this is a gold carpet because we live in a palace and that's what they have, and we have a pom pom rug and a fire in the great hall (great hall? I think they've watched too much Sophia the 1st!) at the front is a glitter fountain and on the roof is a fan too keep everyone cool, this is the attic and it has an orange swimming pool in it and this red house ( the bit on the side) is where we keep our dragons!' 

I thinks its utterly brilliant!

What would your kids have in their dream house? And have you ever asked them how much houses cost? Watch this video to find out some funny answers...

 

Thankful Thursday - 16 October

Well what a lovely lot of link ups last week, thanks for joining in I love reading your lovely posts. We've had a busy week here, as always! The kids are now planning thier halloween outfits and I have to say I'm looking forward to helping them create some fancy dress creations. I can't wait to catch up with you all again this week, if you are just new here then the info below mught help

Thankful Thursday is my weekly linky for us all to share our silver linings, brags, boasts or just something that made us smile. Be it a picture, a word, a sentence or a great big essay lets share what we are thankful for this week. It can be a new post just for this linky, a picture, a video, one word or a thousand this linky is all about thankfulness so whatever has made you grateful this week I would love to know.

If you would like to link up I would love for you to grab the badge below and spread a little linky love to some of the others taking part, and don't forget to spread the word, invite lots of people and help me grow this and make Thursdays a happier place.

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#Mummymakeover Week 2

8-12 October 

I made it to running again today and pushed myself a bit further than I have so far. I'm quite proud that I didn't feel like I was dying afterwards! 

I haven't managed more than a few walks though so I need to up my game on the cycling front. It's so easy to make excuses when I haven't got the right gear so I need to get water proofs, a lock , lights and a nice cover to keep my termite dry in her littke bike seat! But that's enough excuses I will be better.

My bid to go cold turkey in the sugar front has gone ok this week, I'm making much more effort and even when going for a cuppa with my bestie (which would always be accompanied by cake) I chose a savoury scone,not the most healthy I know but there was no chocolate involved so I'm counting it as a win. I do have a confession though... My afore mentioned bestie brought me some home made tiffen cake. With the words 'it's dark chocolate so much better for you' .....  Yes I did eat it but that is the only slip up I've had, ah who am I kidding I'm rubbish aren't I? 

The best news is...,,, I've lost 4lb! I'm soooooo happy it's given me a real boost to keep at it.

Amber Anklets Review and Giveaway

OK its no secret I love Amber Anklets my little Termite has really benefited from using them, in fact she now wears 2 all the time. But her Brother and sister are always after 'borrowing' them so the lovely Tamara sent us a sample of her newly relaunched packaging (and some beautiful Amber as well of course) So we let the kids each have one during the summer, now at 4 and 5 years old they are beyond the age of teething pain in most part but I have found a new and magical use for Amber and let me tell you if it works for you as well as it has worked for me you can send your thanks in any manner you wish!

Here are all three kids wearing their amber (anyone else struggle to get them all to pose and look at the camera all at the same time?!)

My Peanut is led by her emotions, she gets it from her Mum! We are like peas in a pod, totally reactive in the first instance and then calm and rational after a bit of time to settle! So you can imagine there are some moments in Monkeyfeet HQ which are challenging (see what I did there, I avoided using the term brain hurtingly teeth grittingly difficult!) So we explained that Amber has calming properties and if Peanut wore her new bracelet all the time it would help her remember her calm and it might also encourage her to do lots of good girl activities like keeping her room tidy and helping Mammy out.

 

IT ONLY BLUMMING WORKED! I kid you not she keeps telling me things like 'see Mammy, my brother just took my toy and I remembered my Amber and I didn't shout' I mean holy cow, shes actually telling me she is thinking about her temper, and shes so pleased with the resulting praise shes now helping more, don't get me wrong, my kids make me proud everyday with their good behaviour, kindness and manners. But tidy they are NOT so its a lovely refreshing change to see Peanut tidying up without being asked , she even made her bed on holiday so that housekeeping wouldn't need to!!!

So Tamara from my house to yours I THANK YOU! But could you please start selling adult versions soon so I can have some of this calming and energising magic for myself!

******UPDATE******* The Lovely Tamara now stocks Mother and Baby Amber sets and if you use code NEW10 at checkout you get 10% off ! Happy days.

Now if you would like to try some of this mystical magic for yourself you can pop over and buy some Amber beauties here, you can show them some love on Twitter or Facebook and you lovely lot can even enter my Rafflecopter below for a chance to win a beautiful Light Honey Amber Anklet (or bracelet if you are trying it on your bigger kids!)

 

 

 

Let me know how you go, we could have discovered something miraculous!

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

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Thankful Thursday - 9 October

Hello hello, what a week it's been here, we seem to have propelled head first into autumn and it's gotten very chilly! Lots to be grateful for though.

I can't wait to catch up with you all again this week, if you are just new here then the info below mught help

Thankful Thursday is my weekly linky for us all to share our silver linings, brags, boasts or just something that made us smile. Be it a picture, a word, a sentence or a great big essay lets share what we are thankful for this week. It can be a new post just for this linky, a picture, a video, one word or a thousand this linky is all about thankfulness so whatever has made you grateful this week I would love to know.

If you would like to link up I would love for you to grab the badge below and spread a little linky love to some of the others taking part, and don't forget to spread the word, invite lots of people and help me grow this and make Thursdays a happier place.

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Counting My Blessings - 9 October

This week I'm thankful for...

• Sorting the hats and gloves just in time for the change in weather
  
• Running further than before
  
• Cycling on my beautiful bike
  
• A start date to rebuild our house
  
• New books
  
• Old friends
  
• Cheese scones with pumpkin seeds on top
  
• Handed down clothes (thank you bestie for my boden mac xxx)
• Discovering a new park
• Making plans
• Kisses from my man
• Autumn sun
• Efficient utility repairs

 

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Silent Sunday, 5-October

20 Steps To Get Ready for A Night Out

OK the youngest is now in a good routine and you have no reason not to enjoy a girls night out. It's been months since you had one but it's so much preparation, can you manage, do you have the energy?

 

Can you remember those Saturdays you spent mooching round town choosing an outfit buying expensive make up, then having a nana nap, a leisurely shower and taking time over your makeup? You do? Well put those thoughts to the very back of your mind. You have kids now, things are VERY different.

 

Here's my easy guide to getting ready for a night out when you are responsible for 3 children ( this actually applies to almost any number of children but I'm crazy enough to have three !)

 

1 Set your alarm early so you can shower before everyone gets up. Wash your hair, this may be the only shower you manage today MAKE IT COUNT. If anything needs shaving (personal choice obviously) do that now. If you are wearing jeans/trousers etc you can skip the legs. I mean winter is coming so why bother right?

 

 

2 Get the kids some breakfast and dry your hair while they are eating, you'll probably have to do this in the same room as them in order to look like a responsible parent.

 

 

3 Weigh up these options... you can either straighten your hair and pray for dry weather or twist it into pin curls and look like a loon all day but have lovely curls tonight...

 

4 Entertain the children for the morning with some crafts, whilst they are distracted destroying your dining table with glue and glitter, paint your fingernails and hope the kids don't require any assistance until this coat is dry. Please note if you are given the luxury of pooing without company, this is the perfect time to paint your toenails! Multitasking is the name of this game!

 

5 Make lunch and apply a second coat of nail varnish to fingernails whilst children are eating.

 

6 Take the kids out to let them run wild, this will ensure they fall asleep quickly tonight and you can sneak out.

 

7 come home and cook something for dinner that will not leave a lasting odour in your hair! Waffles and nuggets whilst holding no nutritional value fit the bill!

 

8 Get your partner to bathe the children and go put your makeup on, if you have to bathe the children yourself please do this before any attempt at makeup. They wil sense your upcoming freedom and sabotage you with a face full of water.

 

9 Realise you haven't checked your outfit for fit, cleanliness or need of ironing.

 

10 Realise it doesn't fit has snot on it and looks like it's been tied in knots

 

11 Select another outfit.

 

12 Spot another snot stain.

 

13 Select another outfit and lay carefully on bed.

 

14 Take eldest children to bed with promises of sweets and treats if they go straight to sleep.

 

15 Settle the baby to bed

 

16 Creep out of her room and sneak to your bedroom putting on your third choice outfit, grab your shoes andhead stealthily out the door whispering last minute instructions to whoever is in charge ( this will no doubt be your partner as no one else is mad enough to volunteer to babysit 3 children)

 

17 Discover a baby related stain on your outfit and simply wipe it with a baby wipe you've past caring and there are no more options left.

 

18 Put your shoes on outside (so the kids don't hear the clip clop of you heading down the hall) and run, run to your rendezvous point ringing your friends en route to pre order your drink so it's ready.

 

19 Arrive at your night out and realise any (or worse ALL) of the following things....

 

Your shoes don't match (each other or your outfit)

You miss your kids because you are insane.

You didn't put any lipstick on and your beautiful jewellery is exactly where it's been for the last 11 months, in the jewellry box!

You didn't manage that second shower you still have glitter and glue on your elbow, and your bag isn't big enough for baby wipes!

You can't walk in heels anymore.

 

20 Relax and try to enjoy your night, the kids are fine and your mobile IS working. Now get another drink and start having a gossip.

 

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