The homebirth kit is here, my nursery is almost done and the house is clean and tidy, this can mean only one thing, I've nested like mad and its nearly time.
But that's true IT REALLY IS NEARLY TIME, and this has made several things happen....
- I can't help feeling excited to see out Termite, but I'm a little sad that I don't get to do this again, no more bumps for me, three is our number and I don't get to grow another one, no more secret bond, no more guilt-free loving the hugeness of my belly! Again though this does mean we will have a Termite!!!
- I don't wish to be apart from Spartacus or be far from home! This is a strange feeling and I realise completely a hormonal maternal instinct but my its powerful and means I have become a bit of a recluse which in turn means I'm just now re-arranging things that don't need re-arranging, like the office of Spartacus, he remains unamused !
- This is going in capslocks , sorry WE ARE GOING TO HAVE 3 CHILDREN UNDER 5!!!! I have started thinking of the logistics of this.... how do you hold two children and push a pram across the road, what if in a couple of years they decide to run in three different directions, how will the school run work? Anyway I have considered these things and decided .... its better not to think too much, it'll be fine, I can just buy some skippy ropes and tie the kids together when we are out (I'm joking for anyone who thinks there is need for a 'cause for concern form')
- I'm craving more mints and pickles than ever before and I'm HUNGRY A LOT
- I feel the need for an evening out with Spartacus before I have a baby attached to me almost permanently, yes I am a fan of cuddles and carrying and I love every minute but poor Spartacus deserves a bit of me time I think.
- Now this one came as a shock as I have never ever been afraid of the birthing process, but, I have to give birth and something could go wrong, what if I never get to kiss my kids again, what if I leave my husband with 3 children to bring up and support, how will he know my plans and all the little things that I understand because I'm with the kids all the time Like peanut sometimes just needs to have 5 minutes in her room, because like her Mum her emotions get the better of her, or that The golden Child likes his Weetabix put together like a computer before the milk goes on.Will Spartacus know where the advent calenders are, will he know that I've already got the kids Christmas PJ's? Will my kids know that I love them with every single bit of my being and wish beyond everything that they grow into confident happy healthy grown ups who see the world and be all that I know they can be.
As I said that last one has come as a shock and I can only imagine that this is a strange hormonal mystery that I've not encountered with the first two and that all will be fine as I live in a society where women are, in the most part, safe during their birthing with access to services that mean these worries of mine really are unfounded.
What about you did you have any last minute wobbles, I would love to read your comments.
