A tale of 3 births by North East Family Fun

My lovely Blogging Bestie (yes that is a very real term ok!) Sam from North East Family Fun agreed to share her birth stories with me (and all of you obviously) after I read her husband, describe himself on his blog as 'deliverer of my own offspring' well you all know I love a good homebirth and a good birth story so I was straight on messenger to ask all about it, I shan't spoil things as you can read about Sam and Steve's 3 birth stories here.....

Harry - born in September 2006

I remember being pregnant with Harry and walking around in my own little bubble. It is soon exciting being pregnant for the first time. I bought every book and attended every course going, we even practised putting nappies on some of my old teddy bears to prepare us. I knew that every birth was different and was open to anything. In my own head though I hoped for a drug-free water birth,

34 weeks with Harry

At 42 weeks I was still pregnant and despite 3 x membrane sweeps, Harry wasn’t keen on making an appearance so we were booked in for an induction 16 days past my due date. I remember sitting on a ward and being hooked up to monitors……my natural water birth seemed like a dream now. As the midwives did the rounds examining our cervix and placing pessaries it all seemed so clinical but I didn’t mind, my baby would be here soon!

Unfortunately Steve had to go home at around 9pm and I tried to get some rest (yeah right).

In the middle of the night I remember my contractions getting stronger and stronger and didn’t really want to bother anyone but then suddenly I had a real overwhelming urge to push. I pressed my buzzer and was put in a wheelchair and taken to the delivery suite. As I hadn’t had any real medical intervention and baby was still ok I was able to attempt a water birth - yeah! I was by myself though which was pretty scary. The hospital had phoned Steve and he was on his way.

My midwife asked if I wanted some gas and air whilst she filled the pool and I tried it but hated the loss of control so preferred to just deal with the pain. I just kept thinking that every contraction was a step closer to meeting Harry. The pool seemed to take forever to fill but eventually it was time to get in. OMG I can’t tell you the relief - it really helped to take the pressure off my contractions and felt like a large, safe cocoon. I had a student midwife and a midwife with me at this point and medical intervention was kept to an absolute minimum. They used an underwater monitor to monitor baby’s heartbeat every once in a while and that was it.

Steve arrived shortly after and within about 20 minutes Harry was born. He was born inside his membranes which is apparently very rare the midwife popped them under the water and then he was brought up on my chest, keeping warm under the water. We stayed there for a while before he was taken for his checks and I got out of the pool to deliver the placenta, face the terror of stitches (the worst part I think!) and then shower ect…… Out of all my births, it’s mad that my first was probably my easiest and least terrifying.

Heidi - born in April 2009

My pregnancy with Heidi was a lot more traumatic. I suffered very badly from SPD and had to use crutches to walk around. Climbing the stairs to our upstairs flat was absolutely excruciating and no one can describe the pain until you experience it yourself - it is so much worse than child birth! I battled through though. I did consider a home birth with Heidi but then worried how it would work in our small flat so decided on a hospital pool birth again although I was still open to options. 

36 weeks with Heidi

Three days after Heidi’s due date I had my ‘show’ and started to feel contractions in the morning. Harry went off to Grannies house and I just stayed at home with Steve trying to make myself comfortable with baths ect….. I was having contractions from 7:30am but they weren’t regular - sometimes they would be 10 minutes apart, sometimes 7 and then up to 12 minutes apart. They were pretty painful but I was adamant I didn’t want pain relief. We phoned the hospital twice through the day but were told if I didn’t want pain relief and my contractions weren’t 3-5 minutes apart I should stay at home. At 6:30pm I phoned again - surely after 11 hours of contractions I should go in but the answer again was no because I didn’t want pain relief and they weren’t three minutes apart.

At 8pm I got up to go to the loo and this massive force just passed over my body. I needed to push and I needed to right now. I phoned the hospital and told them I was coming in. However I then realised I was absolutely rooted to the spot and couldn’t move, I could actually feel Heidi starting to deliver. I quickly pulled my PJ bottoms off and could feel Heidi’s head crowning. The midwife on the phone asked her colleague to phone an ambulance and tried to talk me onto the floor but I just couldn’t move. I managed to bend over our sofa and in one push Heidi was born. Luckily, Steve was there to catch! I then turned around and sat on the floor and Steve passed Heidi to me. A few minutes later the paramedics turned up. They cut the cord, wrapped us up and we were ‘blue lighted’ to hospital. Me lying on the bed in absolute shock which was the worst feeling ever and Steve holding Heidi on the chair. I delivered the placenta in hospital and we were discharged soon after. The midwife I spoke with on the phone came over to see us on the ward which was a nice touch. Everything was thankfully fine but I do often think how badly this could have ended. I honestly do believe I was failed by the RVI during this birth. 

Hours after Heidi's birth

Jack - born December 2010

25 weeks with Jack

Heidi wasn’t even a year old and I was pregnant again. This time the SPD was excruciating and I really struggled living in an upstairs flat with a toddler and a baby whilst being on crutches and not being able to drive a lot of the time. I used to cry with the pain, it truly was horrendous. Thank goodness for my mam and Steve who really were the most amazing support. SPD is the main reason I won’t have anymore babies, I simply couldn’t go through it again.

Being heavily pregnant in December is not fun, especially when we spent a lot of our time being snowed in. I will never forget the time when ASDA were supposed to deliver my shopping on 20th December for Christmas and just didn’t turn up, blaming the weather. I was 40 weeks pregnant at home with a baby and toddler and couldn’t walk or drive to the shop. Steve was working 12 hours too so I was pretty much stranded :-( That’s another story though.

Jack was again, three days late and on 22nd December I had my ‘show’ and started having contractions. I phoned the hospital after around 4 hours and told them I was coming in no matter what. I was only 3cm dilated but I refused to let them send me home. This was at around teatime on 21st.

My contractions were regular but again not close together. They were also the most painful contractions I’ve ever experienced! The midwives were keen to get things moving and said I should go for a walk around the hospital and pop to the hospital canteen. Were they having a laugh?? I felt like I was leaking water with every contraction and wasn’t dealing with the pain very well. I did want to get things moving though so did as I was told. It was embarrassing though and I felt mortified :-(

We were put into the same birthing suite where I had Heidi and the student that had been present at that birth was now my actual midwife which was nice. Steve had a sickness bug so spent most of the night in our en-suite loo and I remember listening to Mumford and Sons over and over again. The pain was ridiculous but I really didn’t want pain relief, it was then that I discovered Jack was back to back. I asked to get into the pool and they started filling it up. Meanwhile I started googling ‘back to back’ labour during contractions and wish I hadn’t - pain and forceps were mentioned far too many times!

Just like Heidi I all of a sudden had an overwhelming urge to push. The pool wasn’t ready for me yet but within about 30 seconds he was born. I didn’t even make it onto the bed.

What I loved about Jack’s birth was that we were given a super quick discharge and were sent home after a couple of hours - this is exactly what I wanted as I was traumatised by spending days being ignored on the post-labour ward after my first birth.

I won’t be having anymore children due to my SPD and I feel like my family is complete now. If I was going to have anymore I would definitely opt for a home birth now that we have a lovely house rather than an upstairs flat.

Thankyou Sam for sharing, and well caught Steve!!

If you have a birth story you would like to share, email birthstories@monkey-feet.com

Mabyland Blogging

I'm so pleased to have been chosen to write for MaByland recently

When I was invited to write an article for their parenting section I decided to talk about my decision to Birth at home you can check out my article here 

Pre - Birth Wobbles

The homebirth kit is here, my nursery is almost done and the house is clean and tidy, this can mean only one thing, I've nested like mad and its nearly time.

But that's true IT REALLY IS NEARLY TIME, and this has made several things happen....

• I can't help feeling excited to see out Termite, but I'm a little sad that I don't get to do this again, no more bumps for me, three is our number and I don't get to grow another one, no more secret bond, no more guilt-free loving the hugeness of my belly! Again though this does mean we will have a Termite!!!

• I don't wish to be apart from Spartacus or be far from home! This is a strange feeling and I realise completely a hormonal maternal instinct but my its powerful and means I have become a bit of a recluse which in turn means I'm just now re-arranging things that don't need re-arranging, like the office of Spartacus, he remains unamused !

•  This is going in capslocks , sorry WE ARE GOING TO HAVE 3 CHILDREN UNDER 5!!!!  I have started thinking of the logistics of this.... how do you hold two children and push a pram across the road, what if in a couple of years they decide to run in three different directions, how will the school run work? Anyway I have considered these things and decided .... its better not to think too much, it'll be fine, I can just buy some skippy ropes and tie the kids together when we are out (I'm joking for anyone who thinks there is need for a 'cause for concern form')

• I'm craving more mints and pickles than ever before and I'm HUNGRY A LOT

• I feel the need for an evening out with Spartacus before I have a baby attached to me almost permanently, yes I am a fan of cuddles and carrying and I love every minute but poor Spartacus deserves a bit of me time I think.

• Now this one came as a shock as I have never ever been afraid of the birthing process, but, I have to give birth and something could go wrong, what if I never get to kiss my kids again, what if I leave my husband with 3 children to bring up and support, how will he know my plans and all the little things that I understand because I'm with the kids all the time  Like peanut sometimes just needs to have 5 minutes in her room, because like her Mum her emotions get the better of her, or that The golden Child likes his Weetabix put together like a computer before the milk goes on.Will Spartacus know where the advent calenders are, will he know that I've already got the kids Christmas PJ's? Will my kids know that I love them with every single bit of my being and wish beyond everything that they grow into confident happy healthy grown ups who see the world and be all that I know they can be.

As I said that last one has come as a shock and I can only imagine that this is a strange hormonal mystery that I've not encountered with the first two and that all will be fine as I live in a society where women are, in the most part, safe during their birthing with access to services that mean these worries of mine really are unfounded.

What about you did you have any last minute wobbles, I would love to read your comments.

The Golden Child Arrives (boo 2)

Again I was alone when I looked down to see the happy blue line on my 'ebay best' pregnancy test. Of course I knew already, the metallic taste in my mouth had given it away days before, but its nice to have a confirmation. Spartacus was at the other end of the country and not due home for  a few days, but I wanted to tell him in person so I was holding a secret again!!

Several things struck me all at once

1. That happened quick
2. Yeah we planned close together but oh my peanut is only 9 months
3. I'm due back to work in a couple of weeks! 
4. My SPD has only just disappeared

Despite the shock ,it was after all a planned pregnancy a choice we made, I was so happy. It was peanut's birthday in December which would be after our scan so we decided to wait until we had celebrated before taking her limelight away. This time I knew I wanted a home birth, I was armed with research and back up and I marched with purpose into the doctors surgery ready to demand a different midwife this time, one more supportive of home birth, and demand that I be allowed a home birth I KNEW MY RIGHTS.

It was in fact a civilised conversation which resulted in a supportive telephone call from the head of midwifery and an appointment with a different and most kind midwife. One who had birthed 3 times at home and was excited to support me in my choices.

I headed back to work still keeping my secret from all but Spartacus, soon enough though the hormones were at work and I needed to tell my boss, she was very lovely and pleased for me (dissapointed at losing me again when I had just gotten back) although (please no one shoot me for this) I can understand a feeling of shock and disappointment from a boss in this situation after all Id just returned from over a year off mostly at full or high pay and now I was heading on soon again!

My SPD returned with a vengeance and the doctor had me at home from around 20 weeks! More time to plan my home birth, and plan I did, pool organised, house cleared, contingency plans in place fridge stocked and supplies bought, it turns out The Golden Child had other plans though.

I went over by 11 days and by 41 weeks and 3 days I was having my 3rd stretch and sweep and went off car shopping with the husband and peanut. My first signs came in a car showroom on that lovely Sunday afternoon and I knew things weren't far. I had however already said in no uncertain terms would I be forced into induction before 43 weeks, I believe we are all different and technically you aren't late until 42 weeks has passed. This was a mute point because at 4.10am on Monday morning I excitedly woke Spartacus to tell him we were all stations go. With much excitement we decided it was time for tea and TV and spent the next 3 hours watching House on sky plus! My contractions were strong but irregular and then suddenly when peanut woke us they stopped, almost as if my body knew it should wait while I looked after her. As was the norm for peanut and I, we played until lunch time, ate and then went for a nap, I left my tens machine on pulse and managed to sleep although the contractions were back now and getting more regular. We packed peanut off for an afternoon at Nana's and at teatime I called the delivery suite and a midwife was dispatched I remember thinking she would head home soon enough as this had really been a breeze so far, I'd done housework, had a nap and was really rather relaxed, but joy of joys she said these words 'well I think you are about 6cms' Eek it was nearly time to have a home birth.

We asked the two midwives to stay out of sight whilst peanut was brought home and put to bed and then I climbed into the pool, and there I stayed for the next 3 hours blissfully floating like a hippo, but something had changed, everything seemed to slow down, the water had worked a little too well, at 11 pm I was only around 8cms and getting tired so the midwife pretty much stood over me whilst I ate toast and honey, biscuits and a banana. There were lots of under breath conversations and I could feel myself getting anxious so I asked if I could be alone for a while, the midwives explained that baby's heart rate was starting to be a concern so they would like to monitor me more. At this point things started to feel like they were slipping from my control, I was in a room with Spartacus, 2 midwives and a student midwife feeling crowded and not at peace, Spartacus was on the phone to the Godmother asking her to come round and ambulances were being talked about.

By the time the godmother arrived (she's a nurse and  I knew she immediately wanted to know if she could be of any help) all I wanted was to curl into a ball and nest for a while but, the decision had been made, my boys heart rate was soaring and not calming quick enough and despite my gut instinct that if I could just have some peace all would be fine, an ambulance was on its way and I was barking instructions about sleeping arrangements, pants and phone chargers.

Blue lighted to the hospital with a paramedic who seemed rather concerned about my calmness and lack of gas use and even more concerned I might be about to deliver in his ambulance, the journey was short and Spartacus was not far behind but it was all a little upsetting. I was zoomed into a room, strapped on a monitor and suddenly I was where I didn't want to be, strapped to a bed with talk of rupturing membranes and staying still for an hour. The drugs were starting to play in my mind but more than that was my need for privacy. The doctors ruptured my membrane and when I was told I would need monitoring I new my active birth was disappearing so asked for some diamorphine.

No sooner had I been given it I was told all was well heart rate was perfect and I could come off the monitor and move around but I could feel the drugs taking effect, I knew I was close but when the many midwives passing in and out of my room asked was I having any urge to push I said no! I knew I was lying but I wanted to be alone with my husband and do what women do. At around 5am a midwife ran into my room saying 'you are pushing I can hear you through the door (you midwives are a clever bunch I thought I was quite quite but apparently you all 'know' ) 

20 minutes later My boy was in my arms and I can tell you now looking back at the pictures he looked strange! He was flaky and had a pale tinge and had red around and in his eyes from such a speedy birth, (all normal in overdue babies apparently) but when my husband dared say 'is he OK he looks a bit strange ' I snapped off his head with a 'Shurrup hes the most beautiful thing' At last my bolt had come and blinded by love he and I started our very easy this time, breast feeding journey and thankfully I was home before lunch tired from no sleep and a 25 hour labour but happy as can be.



Peanut returned from her preschool looked in the moses basket and said 'awwww my baby', and that was it, our life as a family of four had begun.

Breech Babies

I have a large bump! I mean really large so I was asked to have a growth scan at 32 weeks, where I was told just in passing that termite is breech. Nothing much to worry about as there is lots of room to move and lots of time to do it in,

None the less I have worried and googled and researched. I've discovered positions to sit in, lie in and balance in and I hvae tried them all. So it was a bit of a disappointment to be told at 34 weeks that we are definitely breech, I'm to go back in a week and have a scan and if I'm still breech I can speak to a consultant about an ECV. My midwife is very kind and also a fan of home birth and believes in trusting your body and women's rights to give birth how they choose, so it was a relief to hear her agree that actually breech if presented optimally is no reason not to give birth normally., although she agreed that their is a real lack of experience in this because doctors would normally recommend a section as soon as they know baby wont be turning.

Now I have been told by more than one person that I shouldn't borrow worry, that there is time and room and Ive given birth twice normally to babies who came head first, Spartacus even reminded me that peanut was back to back until the very very last moment, but I do worry, I want the very best for my children and that goes from the very beginning, even before we are thinking about labour we are cutting out foods, eating more veg, cutting back on caffeine trying to relax and exercise. This is no different I want my child to come into this world in the safest manner for him/her and me to give us the best chance to bond and feed and get to know one another.

So having gotten all of that out of my system I guess this post has no ending yet and I will have to update you all on whether my termite changes position and decides to arrive at home like Mammy would like, or if I will need to make the decision to have an ECV and ultimately attempt a breech birth or will I have to give in to my ultimate fear and have a section.........