In The Blink of an Eye

'I think it's time you went to the docs' said I to Spartacus, 'why?' He replied in the tone I know means he's just not listening! 'Because I'm beginning to think 4 is a good number of children for me to have' ... 

This was the conversation that started me thinking about where the last 7 months has gone, how much I loved my third pregnancy and wondering if that feeling to keep going ever goes away? That's when I remembered writing the following guest post for My Buggy Junction and it made me smile it really is one of my favourite posts and was posted exactly 7 months ago, just three days before the arrival of my Termite.... 

Endings and Beginings 

As I come to the End of my third pregnancy there are lots of jumbled thoughts in my head, which some of you may empathise with, relate to or may have never considered.

I'm now 40 + 6 so technically I'm overdue although I fully believe that women grow babies differently and until someone can come up with the exact science of how long it actually takes, I won't consider myself 'Late' until 42 weeks and even then I will be reluctant to say yes to an induction unless there is a real medical need.

Anyhow I have digressed. Because this is my third and because so many people have told me the super quickness and earliness of their third babies, I have spent around 3 weeks getting into bed every evening with the expectation that tonight is the night. I've woken up every morning with a slight disappointment that actually my 'Termite' is not yet here to meet us, but also a relief that I have
A; Had another full night of sleep to prepare,
B have had another full day of devoting time to my two older children before mummy is all wrapped up in new baby maintenance, and
C; I've not yet got to worry about the logistics of 3 children under 5, 2 of whom are starting new schools in a matter of weeks!

Other surprising thoughts which are distinctly different to my other two pregnancies are that actually, I love this secret bond between me and my termite, I'm the only one who knows his/her every move, routine and the things that make s/he jump, dance and get hiccups. I've always wanted a big family but three is our number so these final days really are my last chance to wallow in the loveliness of this secret bond.

When I was pregnant first time, I thought it silly to hear people tell me to rest, why would I want to rest when soon I would have no time to myself, I wanted to squeeze everything possible into the time my husband had before our lives changed forever, Second time, pregnant when our daughter was 9 to 18 Months I could appreciate the sentiment of resting but rarely got the time. This third time, it seems so much more important, I need to be at my best to provide for a newborn and support a 3 and 4 year old through the beginnings of their new school journey, not to mention be the mum they are used to. She who has the time and patience to cook, craft and create. So I find myself retiring to my boudoir when they go to theirs. 8pm bedtimes really are a little bit of luxury in my fantastic rock and roll lifestyle.

I'm also much more casual than I was previously, the nursery has only been finished a few weeks, I still haven't unpacked all the things that should be in there, I've not written a birth plan, but none of these things seem so important, I know that all termite needs is food love and comfort, we don't need a swanky new nursery or a million gadgets we are in fact already prepared by just being a loving family and having some clothes and nappies!

So I guess as I come to the very beginning of a new stage in our family my biggest revelation is this.. there is just no point in sweating the small stuff, and to be honest the big stuff is just going to have to sort itself out around our lovely family. So no matter where in your pregnancy or which pregnancy you are onto I hope you get a chance to wallow in the loveliness that is growing a baby and growing your family, and as hard as it is, try to see the silver lining in every day you go over as an extra day for sleep, relaxation, bonding, preparation or just a chance to paint your nails!

Baby Blues

This is a post I started writing on 28th August and I'm pleased I have waited to publish it ........

This is my newest girl, shes beautiful and lovely and completes our family, which is why this post is a hard one to write. I have the baby blues, I know this is normal and to be expected but I really thought I had escaped them this time so they have hit me like a tonne of bricks. Now with Peanut and The golden child they came and went quite quickly but this time they don't seem to want to leave.

I have no reason to be sad, I feel blessed in so many ways, yet still the tears keep coming. I feel like a terrible mum to my eldest two, who are patiently playing together whilst I breastfeed (a lot ).  And an awful wife for being a tearful unkempt non cooking messy housed wreck! 

Termite (still nameless) is now 5 days old and I have been bubbling (its a northern term) for 3 days, the sleep deprivation of course doesn't help but I'm feeling sadness that I won't do the miracle of pregnancy and childbirth again, I'm upset my house is a mess and unfortunately  my husband having to work hasn't helped. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage 4 trips to the school everyday and breastfeed and cook meals and not get rats because of the mess that is my home not to mention I have guest posts and reviews and blog posts to write, my website won't build itself and my to do list is HUUUGE !!!

Now I know its hormones and its all natural but this is (pardon my term) a load of CRAP, I feel like my first week of newborn bliss has been stolen by a wicked twist in mother natures not so wonderful ways!

And now....... 

I'm pleased to say that after a more settled second week we are all settling into a routine, we are getting organised, putting out the breakfast dishes the night before, laying out our clothes for the morning and planning dinner in advance which has all really helped, (control freak? me ? ... never) 

We've  spent a weekend all 5 of us just chilling and I've sen my two besties, I'm out in the fresh air every day and it seems the blues are turning a happier shade, don't get me wrong I can cry for England but that has always been true. It's just now the hormones are settling and I feel more in control it seems I now cry for a reason, like my big girl going to big school or my little boy going to little school or just because I've watched the news (i often cry at the news it's sad but true).

So it seems I should have trusted mama nature after all and not been so hard on myself, and as the husband said its only been two weeks and apparently I'm 'doing fine' (this is code for he thinks I'm ace but would never say anything quite so soppy)

I'd love to hear how you dealt with your blues, I love to read your comments so feel free to share.  

Nesting nesting nesting !

In anywhere between 1 and 6 weeks this little bundle will be nestled in my arms. Hopefully after a smooth and peaceful home birth. 

This thought brings on many feelings.

Oh my I'm going to be a mum of 3 under 5yrs old. 

Gosh my children who adore each other and are the most loving team ever will need to make way in their exclusive club for another little person!

Come September I'm going to be partaking  in 3 school runs a day with a teeny tiny hungry baby (I'm thinking  a good feeding sling and cover is a must) 

But most of all my overriding thought is this...

By this stage with peanut and the golden child my Facebook statuses read along these lines 'stairs cleaned, nursery ready, food cooked, bag packed, nails painted, I think I'm ready' (peanut) and 'ok I've cleaned the oven and everything else that would stand still, scrubbed 3 loo brushes and changed all the beds, now where is my boy.....' (That was the golden child)

This time I'm currently sitting on my birthing ball, looking at a half empty not yet painted bedroom, I have no cot, the nursery furniture isn't built, the nursery itself contains all the things cleared out of our room ready for painting. Termite's many items of clothing are still awaiting collection from the launderette and my house needs a good clean even before I can have the MIL round for lunch tomorrow, and whilst all of this should fill me with panic, strangely it hasn't.

I'm a breast feeder so need no feeding things, my cloth nappies, as I'm sure you have read, have been washed and dried and are ready. We have a crib and blankets so really the only thing we need now is a happy healthy baby and mum and plenty of peace for family snuggles.

Oh how the obsessively organised list writers fail when it comes to third time round or is it just me?

Mums, especially those with three or more do you just get more relaxed with each child or have I just lost the plot? I'd love to hear your comments....

Keeping Cool

Just a short one...

I've read a lot recently about keeping cool in this heat when pregnant or advice to keep babies cool and I just wanted to share my current method.... 

Yes as you can see I'm fully embracing my hippo-esque stature and wallowing in the paddling pool in the garden ! 

I'm wondering if I can simply pop a gazebo over the top and stay here until I've given birth? 

For more tips check out this lovely piece on Nursery Trader 

How are you all keeping cool? Leave a comment I love reading them